It'll be a lot more fun if we talked, ne?
Updating my livejournal account again. Visit me there if you love me.
Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.
Current mood: in one of those highs again
Current music: Fiona Apple - Across the Universe
Alternate post title: Thin Atmosphere -> Low Oxygen -> Brain In Limbo
"They tumble wildly as I make my way across the universe... Jai guru deva... Nothing's gonna change my world..."
I just saw the last two episodes of Sex and The City, a series on which i swear on. What I love most about this series is that after I watch it, I always enter one of these highs that I rarely get nowadays. I have a faghag (she prefers the term "fagette", coined by moi - so gay, no? Something about the word hag that she dislikes, not surprisingly), and she experiences what she calls a "macabre high" after she reads a really disturbing manga or a, er, stimulating yaoi fic.
So what is it like to enter this high? For starters, it sets lazy-ass people like me to writing, something that the two or three faithful readers of my blog oh-so-eagerly awaits for. Again, I digress. This, ladies and lady-men (and gentlemen, in case someone stumbles across this site) is a classic symptom of this condition. First, one gets tense, uneasy, yet light, free. Then comes the unbearable urge to either talk or compose something. Anything. Usually circling the topic of that which inspired the high in the first place, in my case, about new year - new life - New York (Sex and The City kind of rambling). But once the person (ie, me) starts to either talk to a hapless victim over the phone, or mindlessly type away in front of either mIRC to a stranger who couldn't care any less or to a word processing program who couldn't care as much as the stranger, that person deviates from the topic at hand for no particular reason. Just because that person feels like it (another classic symptom is that they compose unwieldy reader-repelling long sentences). Thought juices just ooze out of every orifice, and the high patient just has to catch every drop and pour it into words as fast as they come. Very useful when one is tasked to compose, since the thoughts can be reorganized, but it becomes a burden when you have absolutely no one to share the high with.
It's not that you're not with anybody, no, not at all. After all, there are the options that are lost somewhere within the paragraph above. What pains me is that there's no one who would understand. Or at least, it's hard to look for someone who: 1) understands, 2) has the time and patience to listen, and 3) who actually genuinely cares. Heck, I myself hardly qualify, given my stiff requirements. At times I get lucky, like my fagette would co-incidentally have her macabre high, then we have a common giddiness to last the night. But more often than not, the source of our highs would be radically different, and often, one has to be the listening end. It's rather hard to make the love story between Carrie and Aleksandr meet with, say, the Devil's Apocrypha. (note to my fagette, if you're reading this, I enjoy our talks pa rin, i'm just rambling, you know how it goes, you also have your highs >:D<)
And so, I never did get to write what I was originally intending to write about. I can feel the high gradually slipping away into ordinary day-to-day verdictlessness. This high, after all, is a viral condition, and as with all viral conditions, it is acute, usually very severe upon onset, has very little to no incubation period, usually systemic in effect, but is self-limiting. The drugs that one takes are often just for symptomatic relief and not curative (ie, it makes you sniff less but it doesn't really kill the virus, with the exception of antivirals). In this case, my snuffles are my fidgety gotta-talk-to-somebody urge, the drug is Nuckaminophen (COX-III inhibitor, generic label - Blogspot), and the virus is Sex and The City (I would never kill this off, someone give me dvds of the last season and I will be forever indebted to thee) (ok, maybe not forever, maybe a week or a month, tops). I think I'm cured now, and the only thing keeping me from hitting the sack is my spam mail. When I'm done with my porn mail, I'm going. When will I actually write about what I intended to write about in the first place? Keep posted.
Oh, and it's now the Year 2005. Mind your roosters.
Current mood: quiz-happy
Current music: Always Be My Baby - Mariah "so monkeys could sing" Carey
Overdose. You don't like being depressed and you
care a lot about how your death will affect the
people around you but you just can't take it
anymore. You see this simply as a way of
getting out of the pain that consumes you. All
you want is a private and peaceful demise.
What Form Of Suicide Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
It's sooo Veronika Decides To Die. Most feasibly, too, but unlikely.
Current mood: hungry
Current music: Fourth Of July - Mariah Carey
You Are a Visionary Soul
You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.
Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connect to your soul.
You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.
Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.
You have great vision and can be very insightful.
In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.
Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.
You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.
Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul
Current mood: still indecisive
Current music: still the same Music
|You are 93% Libra
Current mood: indecisive (always and forever)
Current music: Music of the Family (brush up on your Steinbeck)
You Are the Investigator
You're independent - and a logical analytical thinker.
You love learning and ideas... and know things no one else does.
Bored by small talk, you refuse to participate in boring conversations.
You are open minded. A visionary. You understand the world and may change it.
Current mood: Sleepy...
Current music: Catch Me If You Can on HBO
13th of August, Friday. Starbucks UN Avenue. Arrival: 10:21 p.m.
Agenda: Review for impending Instrumental Methods of Analysis (Pharmaceutical Chemistry 36) lecture exam, which is on the next day. Tried calling birthday boi Benchboy. Number cannot be reached. Huh. Must be some crashing party they have there. Tried other numbers of friends. I seem to be...marooned. Quick, grab a sheet of tissue paper and entertain yourself, before you start poking around strangers for attention.
Here are the coffee-and-cramming inspired scriptures written therein:
-- I am a passing fancy...but then, so are they!
-- marooned, armed only with a hilighter and a latte with extra espresso shot!
-- If you're still reading this, talk to me... I don't bite hard :)
-- Apartment Bliss step #1: Eliminate gay, nouveau-stelle roomie!
-- My glans/G-spot/clit is in my head. Stimulate it!
-- A caffeine high is terrible when wasted alone...
-- Current Sbucks OST: Norah Jones - I've Gotta See You Again (cosmic joke?)
-- (points to stain) <== coffee stirrer stain
-- gotta buy new hilighter...
-- Next Sbucks OST: Norah Jones - Shoot The Moon (cosmos condescending?)
-- I would like to believe that I am NOT flambuoyantly conspicuous, just plain fabulous.
-- Come to think of it, I haven't seen nuns in any gourmet coffee shop...
-- The only Zen I find in Starbucks is the Zen I grace it with. Ergo, I should get a discount.
-- (draws a figure) Caffeine Boy! -cousin of the late Migraine Boy - died of brain cancer (resembles a dickhead)
-- PhP 115 + 29 (30?) = 144
-- I just spent PhP144 and 1 1/2 hours doodling! Progress: 5%!
-- GOTTA HUSTLE, BOY!
-- Change that! Highly toxic! Approach with caution! Waah!
-- Oh no, I yawned!
-- Yawn Count = 3 First yawn = 11:55
-- Stretch Count = 4 First stretch = 12:30
-- My passing fancy just passed my fancy...
-- ...mmm, he smells nice... here he comes again!
-- The "Look good, Feel good" principle applies
-- Cute Guy Count = 1 (that's me)
-- Apartment bliss is an impossible dream....
-- Norah Jones marathon! OST - Lonestar...
-- OST -- Don't Know Why (of course!)
-- Crying lil boys and girls break my <3 (sob!)
-- In the gay universe, I am an OUTLIER. Am I not gay? Gotta call She-Ra.
-- Good progress!! :)
-- Coffee's gone cold...
-- Eyes starting to droop... colder...
-- OST: Feeling The Same (true!)
-- It was just the season...
Rain seemed so cease. Starbucks closing. Departure: 2:30. Total study time = more than 4 hours. Assessment: I'm doomed.
Is what I wrote in tissue reflective of who I am? I don't wanna think about it. Remind me to show you the said tissue when we meet.
Current mood: Satisfied
Current music: Zero 7 - In The Waiting Line
Isn't it about time he moved on? For a little more than 2 months now, I gather. He still hates my guts, evidently, but I'm glad he's more sedated now. He can be quite feisty.
I'm a bit shocked, though, at the fact that he's now with the post-lachrymose. And knowing these two people, I must say, it's an obvious fit. I'm really quite happy for them.
I just wish that I could express this happiness for them. I've drifted away in an act of self-preservation. Though it seems that we've grown apart now and are now living quite satisfactorily in our respective patches of earth, knowing how intensely random the world is, we'll bump into each other. After all, post-lachry lives in QC/Makati and the he lives near taft, and I thrive in those three areas. I'm a bit anxious as to how I would approach either of them, most notably the he, since I'm still in good terms (I think) with post-lachry, but we'll see how the drama turns out. Or, as it seems to transist to, (sur)real life.
We'll see. Abangan ang susunod na kabanata ng Huwag Mong I-nuckDown Ang Puso Ko.
He even quoted me! *gasp* I dunno if I should feel flattered or humiliated.
Current mood: Sleeeeeepy
Current music: Semisonic - Chemistry
Zoinks said my blog looked stressful with its template.
/me looks at blog
Honga no, nakakarindi rin.
Looking back, I chose that template when I was at the peak of stress. I suppose my blog template choice reflected that. To wit,
"Shet, ok na kaya yung presentation namin sa flash?""Hmmm...lagyan ko kaya ng animated gif 'tong template na mukhang nips din?""OMG, di pa ko gumagawa ng paper for Humanities!""Oh, these colors would look just dandy for my comments page."